u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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