I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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