how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
