Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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