Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
