I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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