When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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