Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
