I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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