you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
