I bet he comes in French.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
