You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize