just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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