I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
