and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
