i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
FUCK WHALES
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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