We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
