I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
