dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
