Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
