I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
