No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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