I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
