And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
