Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
