i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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