I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize