Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
