i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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