He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
