Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
