Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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