All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
