So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
