Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
