walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
