Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
