dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
