have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
