yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
