No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
