so that wasnt chicken after all
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
