In the future we'll all be gay
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize