bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
