Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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