ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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