Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
