Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
