He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
