He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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