Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize