We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
