We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
