he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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