Well douche your snatch and let's go!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
