After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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