You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
