Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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