and she was petting her beer can
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
