How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
