wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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